There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just google imaged poop.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize