I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
