Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
