I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
