the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
