Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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