and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
