So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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