are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize