i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
