Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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