My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
