why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
