Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
