So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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