the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
