She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
