Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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