I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
