i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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