I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
