I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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