You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i will never coherently bang her
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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