my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
