can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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