Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
it's great music for shaving your balls
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
