Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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