dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
