Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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