All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
