so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
