god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
