Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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