She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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