There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
