Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
