plz talk dirty to me
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
