i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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