I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
