I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He passed out mid-signature
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
