I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
