38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
