there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I cockslap morals
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
