he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
