I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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