Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
