You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
