oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
