there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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