Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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