I need help removing her.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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