Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize