yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
