Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
