What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
