soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
