How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
