we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
