i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
