can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
