I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
