Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
